Of illness great and small

 I am in the middle of God's unfolding grace to me. It is a delicately woven tapestry where all is happening as it should do, at the right time. 

The pandemic has been challenging for many, with isolation and illness often interlinked and making matters worse. Most recently, I have been faced with the living things around me who haven't been well to greater and lesser degrees: I ended up with toothache that I thought would result in pricey dentistry, my dad's dementia had deteriorated, my mum thought she had COVID based on sore throat and fever, my cat has hepatitis (although I had a worrying moment when one of the options was cancer). I can say that all three have been covered in prayer. My need to be a positive visitor at my parents was curtailed by an ill cat, and I once again reached that stretching point where (on top of my job security and financial issues) I needed to be covered in prayer, as well as the things I cared about.

In short, things turned out much better that I thought: My toothache which I had been taking painkillers for turned out to be nothing, my teeth were in the same state they had been a few years ago during my last appointment., my mum received her COVID test very quickly, her symptoms disappeared and her results came back negative, and my cat, two weeks after her meds had started, had blood tests showing that her liver values had halved. She had put on weight, and the vet was really pleased, for seemingly such rapid progress is unusual. She continues to improve. My dad, well he has his good days and bad days, but in the last week he has improved. Throughout the last few months little signs of God's provision showed. For example for my cat who had started vomiting more frequently, I felt prompted to take he to the vet. She ended up with a same day appointment for blood tests. After the blood tests had come up with a result for her liver, she was able to get in a day later for further investigation - for needle biopsies and ultrasound. A week later, they confirmed that cancer was unlikely and she started on the meds. In the short period of time between her tests and results, Lamentations 3:22-23 came up three times, both in a prayer event I attended, and on a couple of separate Bible feeds I received. The verse inspires wording for my favourite hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness".

'It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.'

God is very kind.

Alongside these signs, something else happened that was very profound in my being. I felt something shift spiritually one night. It felt like God had heard my prayer, and He was working on it ( my cat). I didn't know how, and how it would end, but it didn't matter because I knew He had seen me and heard my pleas, and those of people around me. It was enough that He had heard and was working on it. I was brought to a point where as long as I had Him, that was all that mattered. A sense of we are all - creatures great and small - in His care, so what need we fear? As mentioned in an online sermon by Andy Croft, you come to a point where mentally you feel able to surrender your loved ones ( or pets) into the hands of the One who can resurrect life. 

My cat is getting better, my mum hasn't got COVID, my dad is doing better with his dementia this week, but the big miracle God worked in me was acceptance and trust and a revelation that while I do my bit, He would do His, whatever the outcome might be.  

And here's me singing over my cat before she started to get better.