Another Open Air Event and Being Persuaded to Go...
This is the second story of an open air event involving lots of people, most of whom I would not know and which can make me feel quite uncomfortable. With this one I felt strongly urged to go and had an unexpected outcome. Not so long ago previously, I had had a similar "open air experience" ( again a service) whereby I had wanted to leave because I didn't know anyone and felt uncomfortable and I had been strongly urged to stay and there had been an unexpected outcome.
I had come to thinking that I hadn't really full gelled with my new Church. I couldn't work out what it was, I loved my last Church, and had missed and I just couldn't put a finger on what the problem was... it is a great Church, I had had a nice chat with the minister there about my testimony and how I could potentially offer hope to others by giving it to the congregation publicly, but something was not clicking. I wondered whether it was maybe me that was the problem, that wasn't getting involved enough, that maybe I should make more of an effort when I had got back from South Africa...
In short I was coming to the conclusion that really the Church didn't really need me, that although everyone was great and friendly, that it wouldn't make too much difference either way whether I turned up or not. I do not find it easy to speak up in Church and saying prayer loudly in front of people fills me with the fear that i will just come out with something stupid, so in short I need a push... and possibly the kind of Church that would push me forward in my faith in a nurturing way.
In last week's service, I had come away with a flyer on a partnership the church was doing with another congregation a little way away that had been struggling and had needed the help of my current Church. It seemed possible that this place, not quite as seemingly accomplished might offer more obvious openings or have more need of me. It seemed they would need people to take part. Less option for me to retire away from being too obvious...! They had an open air service the following week as part of a weekend celebration, and so I thought I would go along. Although it had been advertised in my current Church, I'm not sure it was something I expected to see members of my congregation at, or at least not ones I knew to talk to!
The day before, I had had lunch with a friend and they decided to take me for a drive to a house they used to live in. We happened to drive by the Church, with the big notice up about the weekend. Well in way that took down any obstacle of wondering where the Church was, I had been driven past it the previous day.
I woke up on Sunday feeling like I would prefer to stick to my routine and that whole open air and crowd thing wasn't me and I wouldn't know anyone and just feel awkward. Then something else kicked in and i felt strongly like I should go.
So I did and saw the minister of my current Church who I had spoken to when I joined and I sat next to him. So firstly I was not there alone knowing no one. But more importantly and secondly, almost the first thing he said to me was something that made me feel like it did matter that I went to that Church and seemed quite concerned that I should feel that way. He said something along the lines of this...
"Louise I haven't forgotten your testimony, I didn't want you to think it had been forgotten about, it's just a matter of timing, it's all in the timing" he seemed quite concerned about it. Then I chatted to a lady next to him (also from my current Church) who gave me her number and told me that I should come around for a cup of tea after I got back from Africa...
I had come to thinking that I hadn't really full gelled with my new Church. I couldn't work out what it was, I loved my last Church, and had missed and I just couldn't put a finger on what the problem was... it is a great Church, I had had a nice chat with the minister there about my testimony and how I could potentially offer hope to others by giving it to the congregation publicly, but something was not clicking. I wondered whether it was maybe me that was the problem, that wasn't getting involved enough, that maybe I should make more of an effort when I had got back from South Africa...
In short I was coming to the conclusion that really the Church didn't really need me, that although everyone was great and friendly, that it wouldn't make too much difference either way whether I turned up or not. I do not find it easy to speak up in Church and saying prayer loudly in front of people fills me with the fear that i will just come out with something stupid, so in short I need a push... and possibly the kind of Church that would push me forward in my faith in a nurturing way.
In last week's service, I had come away with a flyer on a partnership the church was doing with another congregation a little way away that had been struggling and had needed the help of my current Church. It seemed possible that this place, not quite as seemingly accomplished might offer more obvious openings or have more need of me. It seemed they would need people to take part. Less option for me to retire away from being too obvious...! They had an open air service the following week as part of a weekend celebration, and so I thought I would go along. Although it had been advertised in my current Church, I'm not sure it was something I expected to see members of my congregation at, or at least not ones I knew to talk to!
The day before, I had had lunch with a friend and they decided to take me for a drive to a house they used to live in. We happened to drive by the Church, with the big notice up about the weekend. Well in way that took down any obstacle of wondering where the Church was, I had been driven past it the previous day.
I woke up on Sunday feeling like I would prefer to stick to my routine and that whole open air and crowd thing wasn't me and I wouldn't know anyone and just feel awkward. Then something else kicked in and i felt strongly like I should go.
So I did and saw the minister of my current Church who I had spoken to when I joined and I sat next to him. So firstly I was not there alone knowing no one. But more importantly and secondly, almost the first thing he said to me was something that made me feel like it did matter that I went to that Church and seemed quite concerned that I should feel that way. He said something along the lines of this...
"Louise I haven't forgotten your testimony, I didn't want you to think it had been forgotten about, it's just a matter of timing, it's all in the timing" he seemed quite concerned about it. Then I chatted to a lady next to him (also from my current Church) who gave me her number and told me that I should come around for a cup of tea after I got back from Africa...
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