Prayer and Fasting

This is not a topic of which I have been overly fond of in the past. I have thought fasting required days and days of not eating and basically being too hungry to function properly... It is definitely something I have tried to avoid, and yet I have felt God urge me to prayer more deeply than I have felt able to do in the past... I noticed it most when I was walking to the multi story car park and I unfortunately fought powerful urges to visit the Oxford Prayer Room, I was trying to get stuff done for a dinner party, I had a house to clean, I had to get to the supermarket... Excuses, excuses... You see there is a part of me that is afraid of what God will say to me if I get too deep... I could be falling into a bit of a dilemna over something which I feel He will have an opinion over...

... And then in Church we talked about the very thing I have not wanted to do... Fasting... I like my food, I like cooking for friends, I like enjoying a glass of wine with my meal... Of all topics...

... And it seemed I was reassured that fasting didn't have to be for weeks, or 40 days, it could be as simple as missing a meal and using that time in prayer and I felt a little better about that.. and then came the testimonial of someone for whom I have a lot of respect, who had thought they were going to marry someone, and then suffered doubt, went through fasting and prayer and on the way home on a train, met someone who knew nothing about his situation who wrote down this person's name on a piece of paper and the word 'close' or something similar as in the end of a chapter,  that this interlude should come to an end. In other words fasting and prayer brought about ananswer from God...

... I also heard about how prayer doesn't need to be about constant words, and that it is important to ask God that He press His desires on your heart so you ask for the right things...

It was a slightly emotional service because I felt it was very relevant and part of a lot of pushing that God has placed on me to get closer and seek Him for answers... it is not a level of prayer that I am used to, but nevertheless it seems it is a necessary thing.

So I have decided that I will go out without my dinner on a Saturday soon and visit the prayer room to spend time in contemplation with God.

I am slightly afraid of what He will say, but it is the only way, and so I will put my petition before Jesus, my Vine, my Way, Truth and Light...

Help me Father for I have not plumbed these depths with you before and I am slightly afraid but I do want to know You and Your Will much better.

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