When a prop upon which part of your identity rests is removed leaving you alone with God OR careful what you wish for :)
What then?
I guess props can be many things. Wealth, home, job, people, pets, towns, cities, health, interests and hobbies etc. They are the thing we can stake our identity on and whilst they undeniably shape us, our identity needs to be primarily entrusted with God. Anything else we stake our identity can be gone tomorrow and we still need to stay strong in ther Lord.
Of course this is nothing I am making up, this comes from the Bible. But to go through it, to be tested for your allegiance is a different matter. I have come to realize ( like many before me who have been through it) that my job had made a big impact on who I was. I over compensated (probably) for other areas in my life that were weak by focusing on the area where I was strong and where I seemed to make most progress. In my case this was in commerce, where I recently held a very responsible position in a big company. People relied on me, I helped them get results they needed, I was respected for what I brought to the table. It was hard work - keeping a steady ship, being on late calls, staying calm as possible when other people were losing it. It wasn't easy but I stayed the course and came out drained at the end.
I felt stretched and it needed to come to an end. And of course everything has a season. Asking God to help me find more time with Him was not bearing real fruit ( but this was more because of me not putting the effort in and just thinking I was too busy). " I am so busy, I can't keep up" I would think.
And so little things that pointed me to me being needed less in my job started cropping up, things became like an ordeal, like one I gritted my teeth through. The culmination of this was a voluntary redundancy which I did not think I would be allowed to take but I was let go of ... Easily.
And then I had time. I could keep up with cleaning the house, I could clear the attic, the garden shed, plan my allotment, redecorate the lounge, go on holiday, spend time with God, be a blessing to others... Wow what a blessing! And yet, that feeling of going from structure to no structure other than that which imposed on myself left me uncertain. That feeling that I was in God's hands now. Suddenly I am on a 30 minute Bible study challenge, I am listening to sermons every day, I am writing notes, and I am praying and spending time with God.
No jobs have come up - its not that I have applied for much yet, but all so far have been either total rejection or in the case of the last, gone to an internal candidate propbably due to the advertiser being let down by an external candidate in the past.I have faith but it is a little disconcerting. You wonder whether if it will be like this when you are down to the wire financially which fortunately for me wont be for a while. But you wonder because you don't know what's around the corner, and in the time of quiet and losing the props you you end up increasingly open to God to work on you with some necessary maintenance work.
I am no longer the person who led a contracting team, who managed global websites and platforms. I am Louise who is having to spend time with God more.
Inspite of the uncertainty, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I guess props can be many things. Wealth, home, job, people, pets, towns, cities, health, interests and hobbies etc. They are the thing we can stake our identity on and whilst they undeniably shape us, our identity needs to be primarily entrusted with God. Anything else we stake our identity can be gone tomorrow and we still need to stay strong in ther Lord.
Of course this is nothing I am making up, this comes from the Bible. But to go through it, to be tested for your allegiance is a different matter. I have come to realize ( like many before me who have been through it) that my job had made a big impact on who I was. I over compensated (probably) for other areas in my life that were weak by focusing on the area where I was strong and where I seemed to make most progress. In my case this was in commerce, where I recently held a very responsible position in a big company. People relied on me, I helped them get results they needed, I was respected for what I brought to the table. It was hard work - keeping a steady ship, being on late calls, staying calm as possible when other people were losing it. It wasn't easy but I stayed the course and came out drained at the end.
I felt stretched and it needed to come to an end. And of course everything has a season. Asking God to help me find more time with Him was not bearing real fruit ( but this was more because of me not putting the effort in and just thinking I was too busy). " I am so busy, I can't keep up" I would think.
And so little things that pointed me to me being needed less in my job started cropping up, things became like an ordeal, like one I gritted my teeth through. The culmination of this was a voluntary redundancy which I did not think I would be allowed to take but I was let go of ... Easily.
And then I had time. I could keep up with cleaning the house, I could clear the attic, the garden shed, plan my allotment, redecorate the lounge, go on holiday, spend time with God, be a blessing to others... Wow what a blessing! And yet, that feeling of going from structure to no structure other than that which imposed on myself left me uncertain. That feeling that I was in God's hands now. Suddenly I am on a 30 minute Bible study challenge, I am listening to sermons every day, I am writing notes, and I am praying and spending time with God.
No jobs have come up - its not that I have applied for much yet, but all so far have been either total rejection or in the case of the last, gone to an internal candidate propbably due to the advertiser being let down by an external candidate in the past.I have faith but it is a little disconcerting. You wonder whether if it will be like this when you are down to the wire financially which fortunately for me wont be for a while. But you wonder because you don't know what's around the corner, and in the time of quiet and losing the props you you end up increasingly open to God to work on you with some necessary maintenance work.
I am no longer the person who led a contracting team, who managed global websites and platforms. I am Louise who is having to spend time with God more.
Inspite of the uncertainty, I wouldn't have it any other way.
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