"It's a Long Story... "
That was the subject of a sermon last Sunday at St Aldates... It was kind of about how there are many twists and turns, and, moments of confusion in ones' story of beginning to understand and appreciate what God, has done, is doing for us... that these bits are as much part of your story as those moments of revelation which may seem at first more dramatic...
My story is indeed long and it is still in process... I can account for many years of anxiety, low self esteem, poor choices and compulsive behavioural patterns which at the time cost me both emotionally and financially - made me a hollow shell of a human being... once I got so low, that I was quite possibly very depressed and about as close to suicidal as I think I will ever get...
Throughout these years I dabbled with anything/anyone thinking they could help - in the most inappropriate ways - hypnotism, counsellors, clairvoyance and on the peripheries of magic... and ended up in an unhappy addictive relationship with stuff that made me feel too dirty to be redeemable and so fueling my lack of trust and addiction to inappropriate help....
Although I had started to pray for others and started to manage to stand on my own two feet, I had to lean on Jesus to get really free of this dependence.
"Depend on Me" Jesus says to us, because real strength comes through Him, the real strength of knowing that Daddy is watching over you, one of His children, keeping you safe and helping you grow. I am a long way from the person that I was, I am possibly not recognisable from the wreck that I was... but if I can use tis story to bring hope to others then I will... Perhaps my imminent baptism, as well as my blog will start to help those who teeter on the edge of starting to depend on God...
I don't know whether God allowed me my years of despair as He felt that I would find my way back to Him, and that He would intervene when the timing was right see The Kind Of Love That Floors You , nevertheless I thank Him with all my heart, that I had those years of despair because He was able to open my cell to the bright sunlight and deep blue sky when the time was right and so starting a process of growing a deep love for Him that I never knew possible....
Dear Father, thankyou for your gift of strength and for your watchful and protective eye on me and my home. I love you so much! Louise xx
My story is indeed long and it is still in process... I can account for many years of anxiety, low self esteem, poor choices and compulsive behavioural patterns which at the time cost me both emotionally and financially - made me a hollow shell of a human being... once I got so low, that I was quite possibly very depressed and about as close to suicidal as I think I will ever get...
Throughout these years I dabbled with anything/anyone thinking they could help - in the most inappropriate ways - hypnotism, counsellors, clairvoyance and on the peripheries of magic... and ended up in an unhappy addictive relationship with stuff that made me feel too dirty to be redeemable and so fueling my lack of trust and addiction to inappropriate help....
Although I had started to pray for others and started to manage to stand on my own two feet, I had to lean on Jesus to get really free of this dependence.
"Depend on Me" Jesus says to us, because real strength comes through Him, the real strength of knowing that Daddy is watching over you, one of His children, keeping you safe and helping you grow. I am a long way from the person that I was, I am possibly not recognisable from the wreck that I was... but if I can use tis story to bring hope to others then I will... Perhaps my imminent baptism, as well as my blog will start to help those who teeter on the edge of starting to depend on God...
I don't know whether God allowed me my years of despair as He felt that I would find my way back to Him, and that He would intervene when the timing was right see The Kind Of Love That Floors You , nevertheless I thank Him with all my heart, that I had those years of despair because He was able to open my cell to the bright sunlight and deep blue sky when the time was right and so starting a process of growing a deep love for Him that I never knew possible....
Dear Father, thankyou for your gift of strength and for your watchful and protective eye on me and my home. I love you so much! Louise xx
Comments
Post a Comment